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Emily May's Reviews > I Who Have Never Known Men
I Who Have Never Known Men
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4 1/2 stars. Wow. This tiny, disquieting book carries a sadness that the most popular tearjerkers could never hope to capture.
It sits outside of genre, outside of time, outside of the reality we know, introducing the reader to a world unfamiliar to both them and the unnamed protagonist. The result is a palpable feeling of wonder and loneliness.
I have decided to round up because this book made me feel so deeply, and because I have decided that my personal frustrations are perhaps misguided. There were things that I was hoping for from this book that I didn't get, but then I was never promised them, and, in fact, the past tense narration forewarned I would not get them. So that's my problem.
The story starts in an underground bunker where thirty-nine women and one young girl-- our narrator --are imprisoned in a cage. They don't remember how they got there and they have no idea why they are there. The women remember a life before the cage with families, friends and jobs, but the child remembers only their current existence. They are watched over and fed by male guards who tell them nothing. It seems they are doomed to live and die in this cage... until one day a combination of chance and ingenuity provide an opportunity for freedom.
It is part eerie pastoral dystopia, part a deeply introspective novel about hope, loneliness and the things that give life meaning. The novel swings between the invigorating feeling of hope and the numbing despair of hopelessness.
I found myself wondering at one point if it was supposed to be a metaphor. (view spoiler) But perhaps I am overthinking things.
Either way, this short novel sat like a ball of anxiety in my throat from beginning to end. What a sad, evocative little story.
by
“I was forced to acknowledge too late, much too late, that I too had loved, that I was capable of suffering, and that I was human after all.”
4 1/2 stars. Wow. This tiny, disquieting book carries a sadness that the most popular tearjerkers could never hope to capture.
It sits outside of genre, outside of time, outside of the reality we know, introducing the reader to a world unfamiliar to both them and the unnamed protagonist. The result is a palpable feeling of wonder and loneliness.
I have decided to round up because this book made me feel so deeply, and because I have decided that my personal frustrations are perhaps misguided. There were things that I was hoping for from this book that I didn't get, but then I was never promised them, and, in fact, the past tense narration forewarned I would not get them. So that's my problem.
The story starts in an underground bunker where thirty-nine women and one young girl-- our narrator --are imprisoned in a cage. They don't remember how they got there and they have no idea why they are there. The women remember a life before the cage with families, friends and jobs, but the child remembers only their current existence. They are watched over and fed by male guards who tell them nothing. It seems they are doomed to live and die in this cage... until one day a combination of chance and ingenuity provide an opportunity for freedom.
It is part eerie pastoral dystopia, part a deeply introspective novel about hope, loneliness and the things that give life meaning. The novel swings between the invigorating feeling of hope and the numbing despair of hopelessness.
I found myself wondering at one point if it was supposed to be a metaphor. (view spoiler) But perhaps I am overthinking things.
Either way, this short novel sat like a ball of anxiety in my throat from beginning to end. What a sad, evocative little story.
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Reading Progress
November 28, 2023
– Shelved
November 30, 2023
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Started Reading
December 4, 2023
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Finished Reading
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Dec 05, 2023 03:40AM
This book has been on my reading list for a long time - will read it at the beginning of next year, I hope ☺️
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Completely agree, I felt desolate reading this book (in a good way, somehow), and nothing else has come close to that particular experience. It's just a really special, singular novel.
M.H. wrote: "This book has been on my reading list for a long time - will read it at the beginning of next year, I hope ☺️"I hope you love it. It's unlike anything else I've read :)
beth wrote: "Completely agree, I felt desolate reading this book (in a good way, somehow), and nothing else has come close to that particular experience. It's just a really special, singular novel."Yes, desolate in a good way is absolutely right. Books that make me feel something intensely are always my favourites, even if that feeling is sadness or anger.
Couldn’t agree more!!! I wanted all these answers but had to accept not getting them. This book is one of my favorites ever
One of my favorite books ever! So glad you enjoyed it :)
I loved this book as well, mostly for that unsettled feeling I had when I finished and I think about it often. Can you recommend another favorite of yours that will evoke similar feelings? Thank you, Emily! I always trust your recommendations
well, gosh, another one that goes on my to_read list. Thank you Emily, always following your reviews, as I saw that our tastes are very similar.
It’s truly a gem. I felt things so deeply reading this and bawled at the end. A beautiful book.
Incredible book, I see themes of female solidarity under the patriarchy, the cabinets could serve as metaphor for the house, in the beginning the young protagonist could be seen as challenging the patriarchy while not understanding the complacency of her older cell mates, but then you see the importance of female solidarity when the woman unite to figure out the time. It also hints at how detrimental the patriarchy is to men, the dead soldiers in the bus is a strong example “they’d been custodians of the absurd, carrying out orders whose purpose they were unaware of” (pg. 159)
Great review, also gave me a feeling of anxiety from beginning to end I really loved it though will stay with me for a long time.
Something about this book made me feel so at peace despite the feeling of loneliness being at its core
Read it because of this review
You put everything I was thinking into words!
"I found myself wondering at one point if it was supposed to be a metaphor. The relentless pursuit of answers, of meaning, in a world that ultimately makes no sense." This is not overthinking. This is an amazing analysis. Great review
I like the metaphor you arrived at!
I loved your review and I felt the same🫡
Spectacular review, Emily May!
I think this summarizes my thoughts rather well too. In the beginning, the women are locked up and watched by male guards, suggesting that the males are keeping females prisoners. However, when they go out, they discover that there are male victims too. In my opinion it is a metaphor for patriarchy, as patriarchy affects men too. The real ”culprit” is hidden and unknown (but in my opinion lies in the power structures of our societies and partially, capitalism). We don’t know how we ended up like this and there is no way out. But there could be a million alternate readings too, I’m afraid.
Love this review. Finished the book in a day, my head alight with unanswered questions that were never promised.
This sums it up better than any of the other reviews I have read. This is in my top 10 of 70 books I read in 2024.
Enjoyed your deep insight into this novel. We just read this for February book club and you can imagine the incredible discussion we had. We were all pleased we had read it.
Gave this a full 5 stars.
You put into words what I was unable to! Couldn’t agree more.
I have to agree about the metaphor! I think the author tried to study what exactly gives life meaning, when all else is gone, including other human beings. For myself, the answer is - keep goinf, keep looking. What a beautiful book.
Love this interpretation of the overall metaphor most likely being that we relentlessly pursue answers and meaning in a world that ultimately makes no sense.
I took the story a bit further and gained an understanding that life and hope and understanding is what we make of it. We could all be in times of strife and uncertainty, but we can all control (to some extent) our own destiny and purpose. The child knew nothing in the beginning, but in the end wrote a book of her life and her purpose in a world that appeared to not have a positive outcome. I didn’t find it sad, but more eye opening and satisfying. So many people spend their life searching for meaning or answers to why they are here, instead of just enjoying the journey, and learning things along the way.
I loved that line....
Stunning book that certainly made me feel, too. Great review, of course. I especially like the metaphor you put in spoiler tags I don't think you're overthinking.
Cecily wrote: "Stunning book that certainly made me feel, too. Great review, of course. I especially like the metaphor you put in spoiler tags I don't think you're overthinking."Thank you, Cecily :)
great review! the metaphor that you described in your review is the literal definition of absurdism, and with how much the narrator mentions the absurd, i would think you’re right :)
,!excellent review. Instead of my review, which I struggled to write, I should have directed readers to your review.
Incredible review ! I thought the exact same about this book, and I too, had expectations that were not quite met. But I had made them up myself, so I couldn't blame the amazing book that took me to a completely different place. I thought it could also be at first a metaphor to the patriarchy, where men control women in a lot of ways, and are superior to women but are themselves controlled and don't understand what they are doing and why, they just aimlessly do it, perpetuate it. But the ending of the book made me change my mind.
is there any reason why harpman chose the title “i who have never known men”? the title really confuses ppl. regardless, a huge fan of this book! aaaah💗
Lucky wrote: "is there any reason why harpman chose the title “i who have never known men”? the title really confuses ppl. regardless, a huge fan of this book! aaaah💗"I don't know who chose that title, but there are also editions under the name The mistress of silence.
"Eerie pastoral dystopia" is so on the nose. Do you mind if I borrow your phrasing for my review?
‘It sat like a ball of anxiety in my throat from beginning to end’ is the perfect description of how I felt reading this book
great review. you’re not overthinking! this book is meant to be thought provoking, it’s so much more than the story, i think it is a metaphor for existence as a woman or oppressed person
this is a beautiful review
Totally agree about the "feel" part! Very intense and fascinating
Perhaps I took my frustration to rate it a three instead of four. Yes, I misjudged how I thought I’d perceive this book but that didn’t stop me from taking it on the rating of the book. It was foreshadowed that I’d not get what I needed out of the book — it was actually written blank but I overlooked it all —Denial is my middle name. I would like to emphasize on the metaphor point because yes, it is! Don’t we sometimes run in circles pursing answers we will never reach, I’ve been through that myself. To waste my life counting heartbeats, minutes and days to conclude nothing out of it all. The continuous fake signals of hope that stretches our well to live for us to eventually collapse. Some couldn’t go as far as the others but eventually all lost their well to live. I hated it though, it was a very depressing and frustrating book.
Absolutely great review. I completely agree with the metaphor. We must make the most of our time here, these are the things in our ‘control’ as we face an uncertain world that often makes no sense.
Juliane wrote: "Absolutely great review. I completely agree with the metaphor. We must make the most of our time here, these are the things in our ‘control’ as we face an uncertain world that often makes no sense."Thank you, Juliane :)
The title makes complete sense to me: the narrator has never “known” men in a physical sense, which is a fact reinforced continuously with mentions of the periods she’s never had, the hymen never broken, the cancer of the womb that she ironically gets, the “eruptions” she gets thinking of the male guard. But she also never hears a male voice, or encounters living men in any context other than in imprisonment. But she tries to imagine their thoughts and lives (ex. the man who she admires for having died proud and stoic, the dead guards on the bus heading to an unknown destination). The book is all about a nostalgia for things never experienced and connections never made, juxtaposed with the living women with whom she never fully bonds.
I just finished the book and I couldn't have said it better myself. Truly astounding.
Linda wrote: "Great review!"Thank you, Linda :)
