This book falls into the category of “Audiobooks that Don’t Necessarily Give Me Any New Insights but that I Need to be Regularly Listening to in an AcThis book falls into the category of “Audiobooks that Don’t Necessarily Give Me Any New Insights but that I Need to be Regularly Listening to in an Active Effort to Continually Live Fully and Love Softly,” which is one of my favorite genres because those audiobooks always bring me a certain amount of peace while listening.
Great audiobook read by the author with some excellent points and an hour long conversation between him and his wife that I found lovely. Warning: You may develop an urge to go on a Vipassana Meditation Retreat even though your 9-5 would not allow that. ...more
One night, when super-normal-boring mom Lizzie is laying next to her super-lame-not-rich husband (her perception, not mine) and scrolling through her One night, when super-normal-boring mom Lizzie is laying next to her super-lame-not-rich husband (her perception, not mine) and scrolling through her super rich, super cool, super mommy blogger instagram famous ex-best friend's instagram feed for the millionth time (very healthy!), she receives a DM from the very woman she is insta-stalking to help her break a story. Cue Lizzie being thrown into the world she's been so fascinated by and realizing not everything is what it seems. Honestly, this is a classic thriller plot, the backdrop of these influencers is the interesting part of the story. There are hints of discussions on how comparing oneself to influencers can be very harmful to your perception of your reality and one underlying message: Everyone (on the internet) is lying to you.
I was really excited for this one when it was floated around for bookclub because, while I rarely read thrillers, I am often found scrolling in fascination through tradwife influencers that have gained traction over the past few years (Can I name them here? I'm sure you know who I'm referring to.) and this is the first fiction book I've seen on the topic.
That being said, as a thriller, what would this book have had to have done for me to give it above three stars? The answer is quite simple, and maybe too much to ask of it: It would have had to have pulled a Notes on an Execution and gone pretty deep into the nuances of the subject matter. While she had a lot of breadth, there was so much that could have been explored deeper that I frankly found a lot more interesting than a murder. The dangers of parasocial relationships and how truly odd it is that you can know "everything" about someone while they know nothing about you (and dangerous, especially when the person in the spotlight is a child); comparison being the thief of joy (EVEN if it turns out the person you are comparing yourself is actually living a good life, not just because their life may not be real and they may be suffering more than you); influencers and how most of what we see from them is them trying to make money/sell something; and the rise of tradwife influencers in general are all incredibly interesting and relevant topics that I would have loved to see discussed with nuance and in depth. Sadly, in this book they just felt like a backdrop for the story. Would that have maybe turned this into a completely different book for a completely different purpose? Yeah. So I'll just say the problem is me and move on. B)...more
It’s a fine book it just wasn’t resonating/doing much for me, not necessarily because it didn’t align with me, but more because it felt likednf @ 28%
It’s a fine book it just wasn’t resonating/doing much for me, not necessarily because it didn’t align with me, but more because it felt like a book that would’ve been valuable if I was a few steps behind where I am or perhaps on a different path/had a different starting point. ...more
Listen… I knew I was taking a gamble but I was curious. This book just relies wayyy too much much on the fact that it is a fanfiction for a ship that Listen… I knew I was taking a gamble but I was curious. This book just relies wayyy too much much on the fact that it is a fanfiction for a ship that I personally don’t really connect to/enjoy? It honestly felt like the author just replaced all the harry potter-esque words and called it a day… idk, not for me but I am not the target audience.
dnf @ 19% unless kris chooses it as the bookclub book because I’m really just bored...more
I'm a very big fan of choosing to be celibate for personal reasons and I think it is a topic that needs to be discussed more openly because there are I'm a very big fan of choosing to be celibate for personal reasons and I think it is a topic that needs to be discussed more openly because there are so many reasons why it is beneficial. So, needless to say, seeing this book on libro.fm as an arc had me very excited; I was quite literally sold from the title. I'll start with the good, because this because this book will have a lot of value for a lot of people and I really do want to encourage people to read it if it sounds up their alley.
The Dry Season is a reflection as to why Febos decided to become celibate for a year. She very intimately describes her past relationships and the way her value was attached to people finding her attractive and wanting to be with her and analyzes and picks out exactly why her behavior has been unhealthy and why she had to make a drastic change. Her cage and inability to become free without a temporary clean cut is apparent, she is self-aware and straightforward and painted a picture for her way forward, her path to freedom. Her reflections on the past and what led to her deciding to be celibate are the vast majority of the book and I found them very interesting, and painfully relatable to parts of my past.
In regards to celibacy, it is clear she did so much research with so much love and care. She has a few groups of celibate people, mainly women, that she really hones in on that gave a really cool historical perspective for celibacy which I found interesting especially since she is very upfront about how her reasons do not align with those celibate groups.
The problem? I thought this book would focus on Febos's journey of where she is finding pleasure during her time in celibacy. Instead, whenever something that falls into that category is mentioned (which is already rare), she breezes past it, and, with the juxtaposition of the depth of the other two parts, it made that part of her journey, which is what I was reading for, feel incredibly pushed to the side and unimportant. I wanted to hear in depth about how she was growing in that year and how this year of celibacy really benefited her, but it felt like a piece of the book that she either couldn't or didn't care to delve deeply into.
There is a point about 70% of the way through the book where Febos says "my life was empty of lovers and more full than it had ever been," then she immediately quotes Audre Lorde instead of giving us a piece of herself, her own thoughts and journey, which is an issue I found with most of the book. We get a very intimate portrait of her before her celibacy journey, but almost every aspect of the celibacy journey is framed through a historical/educational lens, quotes from people before her, and research instead of her own experience. She says her life is more full than it's been, but we aren't getting any insight into this. All we are getting is her reasoning for why she wanted to be celibate and a historical context which, while interesting, does not open us up to actually see how her journey into celibacy affected her. Everything feels theoretically, which isn't necessarily bad, but was disappointing for me (someone who was most excited about seeing that aspect of the journey). If that isn't the aspect that is drawing you to the book, it will not be a big deal. She gives so much of herself in other places and does a lot of really interesting research. However, that piece was the sole reason that I was so excited to pick up this book and, while Febos made it very easy for me to appreciate the craft of this book, I spent the whole time waiting to get the level of depth we were getting for everything else for the part of her journey that she actually spent celibate.
This is ultimately a reflection on why Febos decided to become celibate, not on what celibacy gave to her. It is clear that Febos is incredibly intelligent and thoughtful with her writing and if looking back at past relationships/sexuality leading to celibacy through a personal lens while discussing celibacy through a historical lens sounds up your alley, I highly recommend this book. And, while I'm at it, I highly recommend the audiobook. However, if you want a book that delves into a personal journey with celibacy, this might disappoint.
This was really just a misunderstanding in expectations versus reality and not in a bad way, just in a way that made me think I was picking up a book that I would have been very interested in and the book ending up being about a topic that I don't find as interesting because it is significantly less relatable to me. Febos is an excellent author and narrates her own audiobook beautifully. While this book wasn't in alignment with me, it did introduce me to Febos in a way that has me looking forward to reading her other works.
Unfortunately, not even the amount of times that EmHen talked about how large Hayden was could have prevented me from blushing and kicking my feet aboUnfortunately, not even the amount of times that EmHen talked about how large Hayden was could have prevented me from blushing and kicking my feet about this one. This is my type of romance. Hayden is my type of man (AND I actually believed people didn’t like him unlike with Beach Read… even though I always knew he was a sweetie pie). Alice is very relatable in many ways that her other FMCs are not to me. This was cute. The story with Margaret was engaging, if not a bit predictable, but I tend to shy away from interview style stories, so that was probably the best outcome for me personally. The ending did annoy me a little bit because I want to pull my hair out when reading from avoidant narrator’s POVs. But it is genuinely so rare for me to enjoy a romance and actually feel chemistry between the couple that this was overall a huge (and VERY surprising) win after I had given up on Emily Henry.
Shoutout to bookclub for making me pick this up because I have had such bad luck with EmHen. I wouldn’t have picked it up without y’all, and I’m so very glad I did.
And shoutout to Julia Whelan for an EXCELLENT audiobook reading. ...more
I cannot tell if it is because of my specific mother situation, but the pacing was a bit weird in this one for me. I had the expectation that this wouI cannot tell if it is because of my specific mother situation, but the pacing was a bit weird in this one for me. I had the expectation that this would heavily focus on abuse / losing a mother very early on, but there is a pretty heavy focus on other aspects, such as societal factors that make it hard to be a mother which, while interesting, were just not exactly valuable to me. Each chapter did have at least one little nugget of wisdom that I found helpful, but every chapter, excluding chapter 8, was a mixed bag.
This is really just a misalignment with reality versus expectations and the reality that I have never had a mother that showed me any type of love so the fact majority of this was unrelatable, but I was reading this specifically with the intent to process something very specific, and chapter 8 was really the only part that I found super valuable, and with that most of it was just validating the healing path that I have already put myself on. Which is very validating, but I was hoping for a bit more.
I do think this is a valuable resource for people with mother wounds, especially who are just now realizing the issues they have with their mother. My situation just kinda forced me to process and come to terms with a lot of this book when I was in my tweens.
While I don’t really think any part of this was romantic, Follmuth does a really excellent job discussing the nuances of being a woman in stem, especiWhile I don’t really think any part of this was romantic, Follmuth does a really excellent job discussing the nuances of being a woman in stem, especially in high school. How frustrating it is to be taken seriously, the privilege that some people don’t realize they have, the little comments that turn you mean or make you want to quit. The focus was very clearly on Bel finding herself through discovering her love for robotics and that was great.
HOWEVER I have very high expectations for Alexene Follmuth/Olivie Blake’s interpersonal relationships and had absolutely no strong feelings about any of the relationships presented to me in this book. I felt nary a spark between Bel and Teo in the ENTIRETY of the book. And maybe I’m extra sad about it because Blake is the only person I can consistently count on to feel chemistry in romance books, but there was nothing there. The side characters were also pushed heavily to the side this book, making it hard for me to form opinions on them. Everything felt rushed and undeveloped in terms of people and relationships, which is how I connect to books. The commentary was good, I really did like the message, but the book was bland.
“With the sun of awareness shining in you, you can avoid most dangers, and you will experience the stream being purer, the music more harmonious, and “With the sun of awareness shining in you, you can avoid most dangers, and you will experience the stream being purer, the music more harmonious, and the soul of the artist completely visible in the film.”
“Because of all this noise, it’s rare that we pay attention to our true desire. We act, but we don’t have the space or the quiet to act with intention. If we don’t have any purpose feeding us, we are just drifting.”
“To fully experience this life as a human being, we all need to connect with our desire to realize something larger than our individual selves.”.
“Whether we’re conscious of it or not, we are continually watering one thing or another in our mind. Things that we almost certainly will consume again later on. What we water and consume unconsciously may show itself to us in our dreams, it may manifest as something we blurt out in conversation and then we wonder “where in the world did that come from?” We can do a lot of damage to ourselves and to our relationships when we don’t pay attention to what we’re taking into ourselves and cultivating in our mind.”
“I feel connected to you because I am truly myself.”
“anytime we do things not from our true desire but out of habitual fear or ingrained notions and ideas, we’re not free.”
“Without silence we are not living in the present moment, and this moment is our very best chance to find happiness.”
“We can’t find the piece of silence without stopping.”
“Silence is not a deprivation, an empty void. The more space we make for stillness and for silence, the more we have to give both to ourselves and to others” ♥️...more
Introduction: “Prayer, it seems is in our blood. … a constant global hum, … prayer reminds of us our origins.”
“Prayer is not just what we do, it is aIntroduction: “Prayer, it seems is in our blood. … a constant global hum, … prayer reminds of us our origins.”
“Prayer is not just what we do, it is also who we are.”
Book “If in your heart you want to change, then whatever spiritual being you believe in will also be happy for you to change.”
“What we call the will of God is linked to our own will. That is why the retribution of our own actions can be changed.”
“If you think that the Buddha is a reality wholly separate from yourself, with absolutely no relationship to you whatsoever, and that you are standing down here and Buddha is sitting up there, then your prayer or prostration is not real because it is based on a wrong perception. The perception of a separate self.”
“To vow to put an end to obstacles and to transform the afflictions is a desire. We bring this desire and direct it toward the Buddha so the Buddha can help us be liberated from afflictions and realize wisdom. But when we recite these lines, we are not just handing this desire over to the Buddha. We are gathering our strength from within and combining it with the strength that lies outside us.”
“We know that if the strength inside does not exist, then the strength outside us also does not exist.”
“When love and compassion are present in us and we send them outward, then that is truly prayer.”
“No matter what our tradition, when we are praying our priority is to arrive at the ultimate dimension. To arrive at the unborn and undying nature of life. To arrive at the kingdom of God. That is God.”
“Life can only be there in the present moment. If our only concern is to invest in tomorrow, then it would be easy to completely forget about the wonders of life in present moment. We have to return to the present moment, to live it deeply and properly. We have to live it in such a way that the kingdom of God is present here and now.”
“There is no phenomena—human or otherwise—that can arise in its own and endure independently. This relies on that. One thing relies on another in order to arise and endure.”
“We need to know how to stop repressing so that the mental formations of desire, fear, indignation, and so on have an opportunity to arise, be recognized, and be transformed.”
“The way of consuming little and making much happiness is the only way out for our present day civilization.”
“Our true happiness comes from being fully conscious in the present moment, aware of our connection to everything else in the universe.”
At the end of the day it’s all really about a self-proclaimed non-religious/non-spiritual person discovering buddhism and realizing they are in fact quite religious/spiritual just non-theistic. This is excellent. Thich Nhat Hanh is always dropping excellent bits of wisdom that I find to be incredibly helpful and comforting in this life. ...more
An excellent little book filled with wisdom on how to better mindfully walk with a reminder on why being present is so important and how walking can hAn excellent little book filled with wisdom on how to better mindfully walk with a reminder on why being present is so important and how walking can help one be present. As someone who loves their walking meditation, I found this to be a comforting listen (as always with him) with some useful mindfulness tips for future walks.
“We frequently walk with the sole purpose of getting from one place to another, but where are we in between?”
“When you walk, arrive with every step.”
“If every step you make takes you to the shore of freedom, then you can already taste nirvana.”
“Solidity and freedom are the foundation of happiness.”
“We build the future by taking care of the present moment.”
“If your practice is natural, if your practice brings you happiness, that’s the best kind of practice. You don’t look like you’re practicing, but you’re practicing very deeply.”
“Dwelling in the island of self, you are safe”
“I am walking not merely on matter, but on spirit.” ...more